The scapegoat of a toxic family feels deeply invalidated, alienated and alone. It takes deep healing work to recover and see your own worth and build self-esteem. Abandonment issues run deep for the scapegoat and trust can be impossible.

The scapegoat is vulnerable to predatory behaviour craving any type of love and acceptance and in typical scapegoat fashion will blame themselves for the abuse that arises from repeated toxic relationship patterns.

The scapegoat has trouble learning that how people treat and react to you is a 'them' problem as they've been raised to believe they are the problem.

This false belief system is imprinted into the subconscious. 

A lifetime or childhood of gaslighting leaves deep scars and emotional wounds which contribute to self doubt. This makestrusting one's intuition extremely difficult, and emotionally regulating oneself requires self-education.

The nervous system of a scapegoat can be easily activated by others' emotions, triggering panic and feeling like everything is their fault and that it is their responsibility to fix. This can be debilitating. 

Because the scapegoat's feelings have been dismissed, ignored, and manipulated so much, their sense of self and self-worth are severely diminished.

The scapegoat doesn't receive love, support, connection and validation from a family dynamic.

This is required for a child to grow and develop with healthy boundaries, emotions, self-esteem and self worth. Their childhood is filled with emotional and psychological abuse that often isn't recognised until adulthood. Realising this alone can be shocking and traumatising. In my healing practice, I have many clients who have experienced wounds generated by a toxic family dynamic or a narcissistic parent. Healing these wounds is some of the most significant work you can do for yourself.

You can heal from this and break the patterns.

Some journal questions that can help the scapegoat in their healing journey are: 

• What were some specific instances in which you felt invalidated or blamed for the abuse in your family?

• How has this affected your sense of self-worth and ability to trust others? 

• Can you identify any patterns or behaviours you have carried into adulthood due to childhood experiences? 

• How can you challenge and reframe these beliefs about yourself? 

• What steps can you take to prioritise your own healing and build a support network that validates and values you?

If you're interested in healing your trauma via alternative healing methods or seeking spiritual guidance, please contact me.

To learn more about my New Wave Spiritual Healing sessions, Women's Circles, Joining Our Community or make a booking, please contact me.

All sessions and consultations are intended to offer insight into a person's personal life and do not in any way constitute medical, legal, financial or professional advice.